You might be in a country church if....
>> >>> >> > > > > >
: The Call To Worship is "Y'all come on in!"
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
The Preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help
take
>> up
>> >>> the
>> >>> >>
>> >>> >> offering": - and five guys
stand up.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
The restroom is outside.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as
an
>> >>> >> official
>> >>> >> church holiday.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > : A
member requests to be buried in his four-wheel
drive
>> >>truck
>> >>> >> because, "I ain't never
been in a hole it couldn't get me out
of."
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
In the annual stewardship drive there is at least one
>> >>pledge
>> >>> >> of
>> >>> >> "two calves."
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
Never in its entire 100 year history has one of its
>> >>pastors
>> >>> >> had
>> >>> >> to buy any meat or vegetables.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
When it rains, everybody's smiling.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of
>> >every
>> >>> >> worship service.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > : A
singing group is know as "The O.K. Chorale."
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
The church directory doesn't have last names.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
The pastor wears boots.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
Four generations of one family sit together in
worship
>> >>every
>> >>> >> Sunday.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
The only time people lock their cars in the parking
>lot is during the summer and then only so their neighbors
can't leave
>them a bag of squash.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
There is no such thing as a "secret."
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
Baptism is referred to as "branding."
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
There is a special fund raiser for a new septic tank.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a
>parable.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 o'clock
>> that
>> >>> >> afternoon you have had a
dozen phone calls inquiring about your
>> >>health.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
High notes on the organ set dogs in the parking lot
to howling.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
People wonder when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether the
two fish were bass or catfish.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
It's not heaven, but you can see heaven from there.
>> >>> >> > > > > > :
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come on back
now, ya hear!"